We smoke because we're cool.

                        Does smoking help you achieve a higher "cool" status and encourage uncertain friendships?

Like many I have tried to give up smoking but then I realised you can't listen to a Jim Morrison record without prancing around with a fag perched on the edge of your lip.

Smoking is a weird way to accidentally make awkward friendships. ( Not that I do it in order to make friends...Well it's a blogger's prerogative too) .

An example being ; it's cold,wet and miserable outside and all you want to do is pump  some carbon monoxide into your lungs . Then suddenly your eyes meet with a toothless stranger outside who's suddenly shoving a lighter in your face - amongst the gums with the non existent teeth. So I find myself trapped in an awkward situation . All I want to do is enjoy my cigarette and contemplate on life for 2 minutes ,but, instead I have to listen to a rambling old man complaining about the price of food in Waitrose. 

In order to give up smoking you have to have a high sex drive and get some too! ( take it from me). Sex or eating a lot that's the only option you're only going to get I'm afraid... So now I understand why the old man was complaining about the price of food in Waitrose.

At the end of the day people who smoke only started because they thought it looked cool and if they tell you otherwise then they deserved the increased tax on cigarettes.

. 

Speed dating - yes or no or social suicide?

"Hi, so what do you like to do in your spare time?"

 

TAXIIIII!

 

That was a little harsh I'm sure he makes a great cuppa...

I had my first taste of speed dating last night ( well it was actually for Psychology research but hey ho close enough). At the beginning it was a little nerve racking...Particularly after swabs and questionnaires came into the picture. ( It was a psychology experiment on rejection by the way).
However, I generally thought that mostly girls would turn up , but there were more men then there were woman! Call me old fashioned and sexist but I thought that men's thought process on the matter would sound something like this "Great! Because all I want to do is listen to loads of girls talk about themselves without getting any sex out of it".

I must say it was an enjoyable/awkward experience, I couldn't help but develop different accents for the different 2 minute dates ( someone thought I was Russian so I just went along with it...).  But are people that naïve to think that they would find their Prince Charming or Lady Guinevere in just under 2 minutes- it takes longer to make a cup of coffee for Christ sake!

Half way through the "experiment" I felt like a Spartan woman but maybe less Butch or Aphrodite even, it does indeed boost your confidence and to think I was only there for research ( keep telling yourself that Leila...). Now I can shamefully admit I have been speed dating, so I thought I would share some advice on what you shouldn't do in those vast 2 minutes of your life.

1.) Do not stare so far into the other person's eyes that you  find yourself in a black hole abyss ( whilst you're there see if  flight MH370 is around).

2.) Speak loudly but not too loud, you want to blow them away with your charm and not with your voice.

3.) Try not to be so Cliché open with something that will either excite them or scare them ( don't worry if you scare them , that just means they weren't ready for your jelly).

4.) Compliment  them on the way they talk say that they speak articulately even if they sound like Peggy Butcher (this is a high blush scorer).

5.) Do not fiddle with your hands or your balls for the matter.

6.) If in doubt just smile and joke about the whole situation.

7.) Don't tell them about your ex's injunction.

8.) Do not go on about your life and your 8 cats, let them express themselves too.

9.) Don't ask if they have a sister.

Good luck our 2 minutes is up!

My favourite hairstyle of the week - braided bun

I prefer prepping this style with  damp hair.

Separate half your head from the top for the bun and below for the braided  fish plait. Tie the top bit up- it doesn't have to be neat , just so its out of the way from the other part of the hair.
This is when you shout "Mum" or get your mate to help for the next part.

Instead of fish braiding it towards your shoulders, you want to work it towards the top- nearer to the bun.


1. Once you have separated the ponytail, you are going to start out by holding the 2 strands in your left hand.

2. Now you are going to take a thin piece from the outside of the right strand and join it with the left strand.

3. Reverse how you are holding hair and switch hands.

4. With your left hand take a thin piece from the outside of the left strand and join it with the right strand.

5. You are going to repeat steps 2 and 3 until the braid is as long as you desire. Then finish with an elastic.

After braiding , you then want to tie the bun the way you like it, but I would suggest making it as scrunchy and large as possible so you can tuck and wrap the end of the fish braid around it.  Then add a little hairspray to hold it in place and blow dry your hair on the cool setting( if wet prior).

Give it Go!

 

BORED? TRY THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

Blink wildly and then close your eyes really tight for an interesting light show
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
See a variety of blobs, stars and flashes.

See how long you can hold a note
(Amusement Potential: 4-20 minutes)
Not that much fun, but it sure passes the time. Play with a friend, or try to beat your own personal best. Inhale deeply and then try and make a noise for as long as you can. Earn extra points for making your partner laugh or ending on an amusing note.

Try to not think about penguins

 (Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
This is especially hard, because by trying too much, you remember what you were trying to avoid thinking of. If you try too little, you end up thinking about penguins anyway. If you have a fear of Penguins then why not try the Borneo Walking stick (yes it does exist).

Use your secret mind power

 (Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Pick a passing by and try to use your mind power to command them do something, like drop their bag or knock into someone. The law of averages dictates that sooner or later one of your mind commands will come true, so you can convince yourself that you really have super human powers and waste even more time trying them out.

Pretend you're a robot

 (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Walk down the street with mechanical movements, adding 'zzzzzt' sounds with each motion. Pretending to have a motor broken in, say, your left hand can add at least 30 seconds more entertainment.

Scratch yourself

 (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Go ahead, scratch yourself now. Even if nothing itches, go ahead. Doesn't that feel pretty good? (Easy on the balls guys).

Rate passers by

 (Amusement Potential: 10-15 minutes)
Secretly award passers by marks out of ten as you go along, offering (unsaid) expert criticism over their clothing, hairstyle and footwear choices.

Repeat the same word over and over until it loses its meaning

 (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Pick a random word out of a magazine and say it aloud to yourself until it becomes a meaningless set of noises be careful with 'Nuts' magazine.

Pinch yourself

 (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
What is pain? Why is it unpleasant? There's nothing physical about it - it's all in your mind. Plus, after pinching yourself for awhile, boredom will seem nice next to being in pain.

Try to swallow your tongue

 (Amusement Potential: 1-2 minutes)
There's not much to say about this one. It is possible, but really stupid.

Pretend to be a car

 (Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Make appropriate revving noises in your head as you walk along and add a racing commentary as you pass strangers in the street. Use blinking eyes as indicators for extra authenticity.

Make Star Trek door noises

 (Amusement Potential: 1-2 minutes)
Stand by an electric door to a bank or something and make that silly "Scccccccchwop" sound heard whenever people popped on to the bridge to hang with Captain Kirk.

Look at something for awhile, shut eyes, study after image

 (Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes)
Another great time waster. It takes about 30 seconds of staring to create an after image, and the image is then viewable for about the same length of time. Fun to combine this one with pushing on your eyes.

Get yourself as nauseated as possible

 (Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Best achieved by looking straight up and spinning around. Try to be so dizzy you can't even stand up. This is also entertaining due to the "makes boredom seem a lot better" effect ( also see LSD).

Invent a weird twitch


 (Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Adopt a bizarre twitch (e.g. flicking your head irregularly, twitching with eye or busting out sporadic cough noises) and try it out when you go shopping.

Make a low buzzing noise

 (Amusement Potential: 15-30 minutes)
Hours of fun in libraries! Keeping a totally straight face and looking nonchalant, make a low pitch humming/buzzing noise and see who reacts.

vox pop

 Are University Students a HELP or HINDRANCE to this                                                        town?

  HINDRANCE                             HELP                  HINDRANCE                                   HELP

                     
 
Kevin Cozens, 49, said,         Thomas Moore , 28 said,       Anne Haston,75 said,                                     Kathy Phillips , 53 said,
"The students are lacking     " The students provide a greater "The students can be very                                     " If it weren't for the students 
social integration into the       income for the local economy,  noisy at night when I'm                                           the banks here would 
community , and the majority  they bring the bar culture alive  trying to sleep, and the                                          hardly survive , due to the
don't understand the English   and they add to the status of the  rubbish on the streets is a                                      many bank accounts they
Culture".                                town".                                            problem"                                                               have with us". 

                                                                                                 HELP

Adriana Broclawska,19 said,

"It doesn't make a difference but it inflicts

a positive cultural diversity within the town

because that's what this town is missing out 

on" 

"

Bus driver crashes a single-decker bus into house

Gulf war veteran turned bus driver crashes a single-decker bus into pensioner's home.

 Yesterday Mr Ted Jones (48) skidded on black ice and lost control of the bus which smashed into the kitchen wall of 67 year old Mrs Joan Smith's house.

Mr Jones was taken to Leodis General Hospital with minor injuries at 6am and no other passengers were present during the crash, Mr Jones said "I take a bus out on my own and I demolish a kitchen".

Leodis police have made no charges against him.

Granny finds single-Decker bus in her kitchen

Cake fanatic pensioner wakes to find a single-decker bus in her kitchen.

Yesterday Mrs Joan Smith (67) of 21 Balmoral Road Leodis hurried downstairs after hearing a loud bang during the early hours of that morning, she said it "looked as if an earthquake had hit it".

Mrs Smith's whole kitchen needs rebuilding and no major injuries were attained from the crash,                  she said "it could be weeks before I can do any baking in my own kitchen again".