Bus driver crashes a single-decker bus into house

Gulf war veteran turned bus driver crashes a single-decker bus into pensioner's home.

 Yesterday Mr Ted Jones (48) skidded on black ice and lost control of the bus which smashed into the kitchen wall of 67 year old Mrs Joan Smith's house.

Mr Jones was taken to Leodis General Hospital with minor injuries at 6am and no other passengers were present during the crash, Mr Jones said "I take a bus out on my own and I demolish a kitchen".

Leodis police have made no charges against him.

Granny finds single-Decker bus in her kitchen

Cake fanatic pensioner wakes to find a single-decker bus in her kitchen.

Yesterday Mrs Joan Smith (67) of 21 Balmoral Road Leodis hurried downstairs after hearing a loud bang during the early hours of that morning, she said it "looked as if an earthquake had hit it".

Mrs Smith's whole kitchen needs rebuilding and no major injuries were attained from the crash,                  she said "it could be weeks before I can do any baking in my own kitchen again".

The touch screens of tomorrow

Today I noticed an itch of a problem , and that problem exists within our children and the  technology of today.

Obviously I cannot discriminate against the extraordinary endeavours of the mighty technology lords, and how they've taken a vast turn on our little planet.
However this vast turn should not corrupt the minds of our children.
 To a turn to my daily endeavours , I was casually eating my lunch , when suddenly  I was surrounded by children with smart phones, I mean of course parents nowadays  should encourage their children to have their five a day, but honestly Apple and Blackberry?

It's not that my anger manifests from the thought of envy ;  that these youngsters may have a better mobile device than myself, but the fact of the matter is what does an 11yr old  actually need it for ? Sharing yesterday's reviews on an episode of pepper pig? Soon enough children will have discovered everything they need to know buy a touch of a button or a swipe of a screen - How daddy struggles to fit into that same Santa suit every year and the vegetable police do not exist. Needless to say the parents are always the ones to blame. Everywhere I go I see mother's pushing their prams whilst sending a text, what is next for the maternal instinct ? The breast feeding app perhaps?

Girls going wild in red light district

This is amazing!

Mother nature has been diagnosed with bipolar .

 

UK Today's      Weather

Weather warning(s) have been issued

Flood warning(s) have been issued

Don't bother letting the cat out tonight

Don't go out unless looking like a condom

Charge tourists to take pictures of  the ducks in your garden

Try not to increase the population

Tell your girlfriends that ' The Wet Look' is this season's must have

Annual not wear a bra week  

No dancing in the streets

No your name is not Jenifer Beals

Whoever sings "singing in the rain" should be shot

Do not place your delicates on the washing line as it may end up in the neighbours garden ,which could perhaps result in a divorce. 

Scotland shouldn't bother looking at the forecast.

Don't attempt sexy kissing

No gone with the wind jokes

Highly likely to experience the embarrassment of the umbrella folding backwards

Worst gifts to receive on Valentine's day

We all expect our loved ones to know us best, but alas, the majority of the time when it comes to giving and receiving gifts this is not the case.

There are two types of protagonists to this story; one being the 'Closet Casanova' and two 'The Uncreative Man'. 

Top tip is to meet somewhere in the middle.

        

         Lingerie is a big risk!      

                           Lingerie that doesn't fit or men buy it because the model is hot.                                        (no denying it Adriana Lima is drop dead gorgeous).


Just a little over the top...

Gents, lets not try and discover your inner Goddess during the process... Keep it simple.

If I suddenly came back from work and discovered that Paris Hilton had moved her tiny hollow carcass through my bedroom...I would be very displeased. 

Chocolate worth under £15

Chocolate is so unoriginal, it's an easy get out out of free jail card for any last minute.com man, easily accessible at any time of day. If you are going to purchase a calorific collection, I would suggest digging deeper into your pockets.

1 Madron fc ticket 

If you know your football then you'll know the sheer failures of this team which of whom were thrashed 55-0. Just don't get your loved one something you'll love more than she would.

                   HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY HOPE IT ALL GOES WELL!

I like Russia's secret message on communism...