We smoke because we're cool.

                        Does smoking help you achieve a higher "cool" status and encourage uncertain friendships?

Like many I have tried to give up smoking but then I realised you can't listen to a Jim Morrison record without prancing around with a fag perched on the edge of your lip.

Smoking is a weird way to accidentally make awkward friendships. ( Not that I do it in order to make friends...Well it's a blogger's prerogative too) .

An example being ; it's cold,wet and miserable outside and all you want to do is pump  some carbon monoxide into your lungs . Then suddenly your eyes meet with a toothless stranger outside who's suddenly shoving a lighter in your face - amongst the gums with the non existent teeth. So I find myself trapped in an awkward situation . All I want to do is enjoy my cigarette and contemplate on life for 2 minutes ,but, instead I have to listen to a rambling old man complaining about the price of food in Waitrose. 

In order to give up smoking you have to have a high sex drive and get some too! ( take it from me). Sex or eating a lot that's the only option you're only going to get I'm afraid... So now I understand why the old man was complaining about the price of food in Waitrose.

At the end of the day people who smoke only started because they thought it looked cool and if they tell you otherwise then they deserved the increased tax on cigarettes.

. 

Speed dating - yes or no or social suicide?

"Hi, so what do you like to do in your spare time?"

 

TAXIIIII!

 

That was a little harsh I'm sure he makes a great cuppa...

I had my first taste of speed dating last night ( well it was actually for Psychology research but hey ho close enough). At the beginning it was a little nerve racking...Particularly after swabs and questionnaires came into the picture. ( It was a psychology experiment on rejection by the way).
However, I generally thought that mostly girls would turn up , but there were more men then there were woman! Call me old fashioned and sexist but I thought that men's thought process on the matter would sound something like this "Great! Because all I want to do is listen to loads of girls talk about themselves without getting any sex out of it".

I must say it was an enjoyable/awkward experience, I couldn't help but develop different accents for the different 2 minute dates ( someone thought I was Russian so I just went along with it...).  But are people that naïve to think that they would find their Prince Charming or Lady Guinevere in just under 2 minutes- it takes longer to make a cup of coffee for Christ sake!

Half way through the "experiment" I felt like a Spartan woman but maybe less Butch or Aphrodite even, it does indeed boost your confidence and to think I was only there for research ( keep telling yourself that Leila...). Now I can shamefully admit I have been speed dating, so I thought I would share some advice on what you shouldn't do in those vast 2 minutes of your life.

1.) Do not stare so far into the other person's eyes that you  find yourself in a black hole abyss ( whilst you're there see if  flight MH370 is around).

2.) Speak loudly but not too loud, you want to blow them away with your charm and not with your voice.

3.) Try not to be so Cliché open with something that will either excite them or scare them ( don't worry if you scare them , that just means they weren't ready for your jelly).

4.) Compliment  them on the way they talk say that they speak articulately even if they sound like Peggy Butcher (this is a high blush scorer).

5.) Do not fiddle with your hands or your balls for the matter.

6.) If in doubt just smile and joke about the whole situation.

7.) Don't tell them about your ex's injunction.

8.) Do not go on about your life and your 8 cats, let them express themselves too.

9.) Don't ask if they have a sister.

Good luck our 2 minutes is up!

My favourite hairstyle of the week - braided bun

I prefer prepping this style with  damp hair.

Separate half your head from the top for the bun and below for the braided  fish plait. Tie the top bit up- it doesn't have to be neat , just so its out of the way from the other part of the hair.
This is when you shout "Mum" or get your mate to help for the next part.

Instead of fish braiding it towards your shoulders, you want to work it towards the top- nearer to the bun.


1. Once you have separated the ponytail, you are going to start out by holding the 2 strands in your left hand.

2. Now you are going to take a thin piece from the outside of the right strand and join it with the left strand.

3. Reverse how you are holding hair and switch hands.

4. With your left hand take a thin piece from the outside of the left strand and join it with the right strand.

5. You are going to repeat steps 2 and 3 until the braid is as long as you desire. Then finish with an elastic.

After braiding , you then want to tie the bun the way you like it, but I would suggest making it as scrunchy and large as possible so you can tuck and wrap the end of the fish braid around it.  Then add a little hairspray to hold it in place and blow dry your hair on the cool setting( if wet prior).

Give it Go!

 

BORED? TRY THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

Blink wildly and then close your eyes really tight for an interesting light show
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
See a variety of blobs, stars and flashes.

See how long you can hold a note
(Amusement Potential: 4-20 minutes)
Not that much fun, but it sure passes the time. Play with a friend, or try to beat your own personal best. Inhale deeply and then try and make a noise for as long as you can. Earn extra points for making your partner laugh or ending on an amusing note.

Try to not think about penguins

 (Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
This is especially hard, because by trying too much, you remember what you were trying to avoid thinking of. If you try too little, you end up thinking about penguins anyway. If you have a fear of Penguins then why not try the Borneo Walking stick (yes it does exist).

Use your secret mind power

 (Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Pick a passing by and try to use your mind power to command them do something, like drop their bag or knock into someone. The law of averages dictates that sooner or later one of your mind commands will come true, so you can convince yourself that you really have super human powers and waste even more time trying them out.

Pretend you're a robot

 (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Walk down the street with mechanical movements, adding 'zzzzzt' sounds with each motion. Pretending to have a motor broken in, say, your left hand can add at least 30 seconds more entertainment.

Scratch yourself

 (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Go ahead, scratch yourself now. Even if nothing itches, go ahead. Doesn't that feel pretty good? (Easy on the balls guys).

Rate passers by

 (Amusement Potential: 10-15 minutes)
Secretly award passers by marks out of ten as you go along, offering (unsaid) expert criticism over their clothing, hairstyle and footwear choices.

Repeat the same word over and over until it loses its meaning

 (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Pick a random word out of a magazine and say it aloud to yourself until it becomes a meaningless set of noises be careful with 'Nuts' magazine.

Pinch yourself

 (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
What is pain? Why is it unpleasant? There's nothing physical about it - it's all in your mind. Plus, after pinching yourself for awhile, boredom will seem nice next to being in pain.

Try to swallow your tongue

 (Amusement Potential: 1-2 minutes)
There's not much to say about this one. It is possible, but really stupid.

Pretend to be a car

 (Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Make appropriate revving noises in your head as you walk along and add a racing commentary as you pass strangers in the street. Use blinking eyes as indicators for extra authenticity.

Make Star Trek door noises

 (Amusement Potential: 1-2 minutes)
Stand by an electric door to a bank or something and make that silly "Scccccccchwop" sound heard whenever people popped on to the bridge to hang with Captain Kirk.

Look at something for awhile, shut eyes, study after image

 (Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes)
Another great time waster. It takes about 30 seconds of staring to create an after image, and the image is then viewable for about the same length of time. Fun to combine this one with pushing on your eyes.

Get yourself as nauseated as possible

 (Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Best achieved by looking straight up and spinning around. Try to be so dizzy you can't even stand up. This is also entertaining due to the "makes boredom seem a lot better" effect ( also see LSD).

Invent a weird twitch


 (Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Adopt a bizarre twitch (e.g. flicking your head irregularly, twitching with eye or busting out sporadic cough noises) and try it out when you go shopping.

Make a low buzzing noise

 (Amusement Potential: 15-30 minutes)
Hours of fun in libraries! Keeping a totally straight face and looking nonchalant, make a low pitch humming/buzzing noise and see who reacts.

vox pop

 Are University Students a HELP or HINDRANCE to this                                                        town?

  HINDRANCE                             HELP                  HINDRANCE                                   HELP

                     
 
Kevin Cozens, 49, said,         Thomas Moore , 28 said,       Anne Haston,75 said,                                     Kathy Phillips , 53 said,
"The students are lacking     " The students provide a greater "The students can be very                                     " If it weren't for the students 
social integration into the       income for the local economy,  noisy at night when I'm                                           the banks here would 
community , and the majority  they bring the bar culture alive  trying to sleep, and the                                          hardly survive , due to the
don't understand the English   and they add to the status of the  rubbish on the streets is a                                      many bank accounts they
Culture".                                town".                                            problem"                                                               have with us". 

                                                                                                 HELP

Adriana Broclawska,19 said,

"It doesn't make a difference but it inflicts

a positive cultural diversity within the town

because that's what this town is missing out 

on" 

"

Bus driver crashes a single-decker bus into house

Gulf war veteran turned bus driver crashes a single-decker bus into pensioner's home.

 Yesterday Mr Ted Jones (48) skidded on black ice and lost control of the bus which smashed into the kitchen wall of 67 year old Mrs Joan Smith's house.

Mr Jones was taken to Leodis General Hospital with minor injuries at 6am and no other passengers were present during the crash, Mr Jones said "I take a bus out on my own and I demolish a kitchen".

Leodis police have made no charges against him.

Granny finds single-Decker bus in her kitchen

Cake fanatic pensioner wakes to find a single-decker bus in her kitchen.

Yesterday Mrs Joan Smith (67) of 21 Balmoral Road Leodis hurried downstairs after hearing a loud bang during the early hours of that morning, she said it "looked as if an earthquake had hit it".

Mrs Smith's whole kitchen needs rebuilding and no major injuries were attained from the crash,                  she said "it could be weeks before I can do any baking in my own kitchen again".

The touch screens of tomorrow

Today I noticed an itch of a problem , and that problem exists within our children and the  technology of today.

Obviously I cannot discriminate against the extraordinary endeavours of the mighty technology lords, and how they've taken a vast turn on our little planet.
However this vast turn should not corrupt the minds of our children.
 To a turn to my daily endeavours , I was casually eating my lunch , when suddenly  I was surrounded by children with smart phones, I mean of course parents nowadays  should encourage their children to have their five a day, but honestly Apple and Blackberry?

It's not that my anger manifests from the thought of envy ;  that these youngsters may have a better mobile device than myself, but the fact of the matter is what does an 11yr old  actually need it for ? Sharing yesterday's reviews on an episode of pepper pig? Soon enough children will have discovered everything they need to know buy a touch of a button or a swipe of a screen - How daddy struggles to fit into that same Santa suit every year and the vegetable police do not exist. Needless to say the parents are always the ones to blame. Everywhere I go I see mother's pushing their prams whilst sending a text, what is next for the maternal instinct ? The breast feeding app perhaps?

Girls going wild in red light district

This is amazing!

Mother nature has been diagnosed with bipolar .

 

UK Today's      Weather

Weather warning(s) have been issued

Flood warning(s) have been issued

Don't bother letting the cat out tonight

Don't go out unless looking like a condom

Charge tourists to take pictures of  the ducks in your garden

Try not to increase the population

Tell your girlfriends that ' The Wet Look' is this season's must have

Annual not wear a bra week  

No dancing in the streets

No your name is not Jenifer Beals

Whoever sings "singing in the rain" should be shot

Do not place your delicates on the washing line as it may end up in the neighbours garden ,which could perhaps result in a divorce. 

Scotland shouldn't bother looking at the forecast.

Don't attempt sexy kissing

No gone with the wind jokes

Highly likely to experience the embarrassment of the umbrella folding backwards

Worst gifts to receive on Valentine's day

We all expect our loved ones to know us best, but alas, the majority of the time when it comes to giving and receiving gifts this is not the case.

There are two types of protagonists to this story; one being the 'Closet Casanova' and two 'The Uncreative Man'. 

Top tip is to meet somewhere in the middle.

        

         Lingerie is a big risk!      

                           Lingerie that doesn't fit or men buy it because the model is hot.                                        (no denying it Adriana Lima is drop dead gorgeous).


Just a little over the top...

Gents, lets not try and discover your inner Goddess during the process... Keep it simple.

If I suddenly came back from work and discovered that Paris Hilton had moved her tiny hollow carcass through my bedroom...I would be very displeased. 

Chocolate worth under £15

Chocolate is so unoriginal, it's an easy get out out of free jail card for any last minute.com man, easily accessible at any time of day. If you are going to purchase a calorific collection, I would suggest digging deeper into your pockets.

1 Madron fc ticket 

If you know your football then you'll know the sheer failures of this team which of whom were thrashed 55-0. Just don't get your loved one something you'll love more than she would.

                   HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY HOPE IT ALL GOES WELL!

I like Russia's secret message on communism...

University neighbours.

"That's when good neighbours become good friends"- Or maybe not?                                                                                                                                                   We all have those days when you want to bang on the wall or poke the ceiling with the vacuum cleaner. However, to some extent the majority of campus residents I have spoken to at my uni don't mind the fact that your neighbour can hear you coughing... Amongst other things.     

I managed to sort the research into categories , what kind of neighbour do you have?

                    

1.) The bring a friend back every night neighbour

This neighbour is in search of a mate and he or she will pull every trick in the book in order to get one. I mean picture the scene, you're just about to nod off when suddenly Maria Sharapova starts giving backhanders next door. I interviewed a few  post-graduates  and they said as a whole "it is most likely for fresher students to launch their bodies at each other during the first week of university".

Leila's suggestions;

a.) Invest in a pair of ear muffs.

b.) Slip a note under the door saying "I've heard better".

c.) Bring champagne to the party .

2.) The ninja neighbour

This sneaky devil only leaves behind so much as a whisper and the occasional door slamming. Rather than being seen and not heard they are heard but not seen. Which throws you into the role of Sherlock Holmes to investigate the weird being living on your floor. So you find yourself glued to the  spyhole once you hear a snap of a sound. 

Leila's suggestions;

a.) Knock on their door and ask them if the internet is working for them.

b.) Leave milk and cookies outside your door.

c.) Face the fact that there is a serial killer sharing your bathroom. 

3.) The nocturnal neighbour 

This neighbour has a date with the kitchen every 10 minutes. But, usually some species of nocturnal neighbours forget about the other creatures living around them; so they'll start to play the radio in the kitchen or decide to re-vamp the place  i.e moving furniture or start hoovering the invisible crumbs. 

Leila's suggestions;

a.) Put a 'out of use' sign on the kitchen door.

b.) Make them their favourite drink and tell them that Night Nurse is a brilliant mixer.

c.) Tell them a relative of yours died from insomnia.

4.) The can I borrow your sugar neighbour 

This sorry sod didn't think to come prepared for university. As you hear the dreaded knock at your door  you peep  through the spyhole to see the neighbour smiling ever so cunningly. You open the door, they ask you a pointless question about your life, then, they don't hang about as to why they're actually bothering you, why they got you out of your hell hole. "Could I borrow..."

Leila's suggestions;

a.) Just say sorry I don't have any.

b.) Pretend you can't speak English.

c.) Open the door wearing a gimp mask. 

" Borrowing trouble for yourself, if that's your nature , but don't lend it to your neighbours" 

    -Rudyard Kipling 

Spring fashion trends for 2014

This spring it's all about fringing , inverse  shirt buttoning and smoke jackets with wide trousers.  

Inverse shirt buttoning.

It may sound ludicrous and simple but with a decent
top or tunic it can be pulled off . Rather than leaving the top few buttons of your shirt undone, invert the process. Button up the top few, and leave the rest to float open wide. This look works well with crop tops and softer fabrics & lighter colours. Perfect to catch the fresh breeze.                                            
 This trend has been a common feature on the S/S14 runway particular from designers like Alexander Wang, Diesel Black &Gold and Rodarte . Other designers like Sergei Grinko and Trussardi  did the same with dresses. There’s no requirement to keep it to shirts.Whatever floats your boat/shirt.

Fringing

Fringing takes on a broad range of styles for spring 2014. To make a swish entrance or exit tassels work well with anything. Anything from a small detailing on a pair of boots or bag to a full out paper shredding . Look out for Georgina Chapman and Roerto Cavalli.
  

 Smoking Jackets &  Wide trousers              

 This look is definitely one for the city. A statement shouting women can pull off smoking Jackets too.  

One definitely for the working woman, it brings a hard edge to the femininity of bright colours and soft fabrics. The wide trousers compliments the flow of the jacket, whether it being done up still helps create a curvy structure on the body. Perfect to accompany a pair of shorts for the summer. 

The jackets can fit many occasions like work, weddings, or first dates it mixes sophistication with sexiness. A must have for the wardrobe this Spring.

Check out this amazing woman on Youtube on how to get the Spring 2014 hair look with amazing soft curls . I tried it myself it works wonders , Enjoy!

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRzAcnhS53c 

MOJO IN SOHO

Soho has to be one of the renowned places in London town. Full of vibrant enchantment and strange people; basically Doctor Who's wet dream. 

The lost world is a contrast between the weird and wonderful , men walking with confidence in  6 inch Christian Louboutins and the straight men pretending not to look. A few metres down there is the pleasant China Town where before 8pm they're offering hot lamb dough balls off a hand-made cart and after 8pm it's full of rival drug gangs. People say it's the pinkest part of London  but I would have to disagree, I think it attracts more heterosexuals than homosexuals to the gay club scene ( no wonder it's in the City of Westminster). 

Soho was originally grazing farmland  until 1536 , when it was taken by Henry VIII as a royal park for the palace of Whitehall ( well it's full of Queens now). The name 'Soho' supposedly derives from a former hunting cry at the Battle of Sedgemoor. 

As well as an ostentatious club scene and a wild night at the theatre , Soho offers fantastic bites to eat. If you're ever in the area check out Bocca di Lupo an authentic Italian restaurant guaranteed to never disappoint.  

It's now a fashion statement to take pets on the London underground

I  did some research on laws regarding animals on the underground. The research showed that dogs were allowed, but had to be carried on the escalators  (good luck with biggie over there) . 

Other animals had to be in cages, one comment on Yahoo answers said that they once saw 'a cat sitting on a man's shoulder' . Besides already feeling like cattle on the tube , we might as well involve the animal kingdom. 

I went to London recently and saw that more men were accompanied by fluffy friends than women , well they do say dogs are a man's best friend.  Although, you can count your lucky chickens that the Chinese decided not to bring horses ( BBC translation "whores") on the tube  to Leicester Square over the weekend.

The animals were discovered by Paul Middlewick in 1988 . They're created using the tube lines, stations and junctions of the London Underground map. Paul found the original animal , the elephant , while he was staring at the tube map during his daily routine journey from home to work. Since then, Elephant and Castle ( as the elephant is called) has been joined by many others from bats to bottle-nose whales. 

What animals can you spot?

A man accused of committing sexual acts with farmyard animals near Tottenham Hotspurs training ground.

Cor, Blimey! Just look at those pair of chops. 

The 61-year-old IT worker was arrested near Tottenham Hotspur’s training ground on the 4th of September , after a couple allegedly saw him encouraging animals to have sex with him.

‘The witnesses saw him trying to encourage (using gestures) the sheep towards his groin area and say that he was basically trying to entice them to lick or suck on his genitals.’  

Mr Lovell claimed he was "Just relaxing"  when PC James Whitfield found him lying  with only his "shoes , socks and nothing else". 

Mr Lovell denies one charge of trying to commit sexual acts with an animal in a public place.

It was heard in court he was trying to "shoo" the animals away so he could sleep with no clothes on in the woods ( as you do) near the Premier League club’s facilities.


The court heard how Mr Lovell unsuccessfully tried to get a cow to ‘lick or suck’ on his genitals by putting his penis into the mouth of a cow. When this failed he allegedly ‘tried his luck with some sheep’, typical man behaviour if you asked me.

Prosecutor Robert Hutchinson said: ‘In this case the defendant with his penis tried to put it into or up next to, as if to put it into, the mouth of a cow.

‘He did not successfully penetrate the mouth of a cow with his penis and he then moved to another part of the field and tried his luck with some sheep.

Eat your heart out Wales ;) 

Students drink £5000 worth of Jager Bombs in one night

The cheap drink night event was held at The Old Brewery Tavern in Canterbury, Kent,  where Jager bombs were sold for £1 each!  Now I don't know much about the knowledge of Jagermeister , only that it taste disgusting and you can put it in anything, depending on your stupidity. 

 "at the time, I thought it was great-cheap drinks are always welcome to a poor student"  

"But I ended up  drinking so many I had heart palpitations and  I was really sick. It was irresponsible, really"

          

Medical institutions are extremely worried over the effects of mixing energy drinks with spirits, because it has the high potential to increase heart problems. People who use energy drinks as mixers are 6 times more likely to suffer from heart palpitations as to those who drink their alcohol straight or with a soft drink. They are also 4 times more prone to develop sleep disturbance and insomnolence. Some researches have said that energy drink's mask drunkenness , leading to badly impaired judgement - drinking and driving. 

Will Facebook survive the apocalypse ?

                                   The year is 7869 cockroach has liked a picture of you.

It might just be me but I hate Facebook, but I just can't say goodbye. I and the other 250 million + users are overly consumed and infected by that desire to know everything about everyone.

 I mean do we really want to know about your sad life or what you had for breakfast- the depressing part is we really do...

There's a particular "Facebook whore" type of person, who thinks they can click 'add as friend' after a brief 10 second encounter. I mean, have those 10 seconds secured you a place amongst the friends I want to run into the sunset with...Well yes. We don't want to add them but we do, don't we? Or we send them that polite/ patronising message saying   "sorry , do I know you?" and from then on you're caught in the spiral of  talking to them, so you have to add them as a friend; giving the stranger an access outline of your life.

Something to think about - I don't know if you've noticed but before it would say "Add as friend" and now it says "Add friend".  Is this the co-operation at work here to expand their user base? Or do they want the world to be as the inbetweeners would put it " fwieendsss".

 A Psychology study by Buffardi & Campbell of the University of Georgia, found that for every 5 friends you have, there is at least one who is not considered a  "proper friend".

The internet did not create narcissism but many would argue that it contributes a great deal.

The research found that an individual's level of activity on Facebook strongly correlated to their level of narcissism . In short, people who like themselves tend to show more to the world about it.

Just the other day my 12 year old brother told me that he was on Facebook ( I cannot describe to you in words the facial expression I pulled) . As well as it being a danger, I saw it as being pointless. What would be the point , you're only going to discuss yesterday's Pepper Pig episode at school anyway... Although adults utilising Facebook could be seen as a child's want and need for attention too.

I think instead of Facebook it should be called Stalkbook ; which would consist of checking out your ex's relationship status or seeing if your teachers are on there.  We've all  picked up our smartphones and unnoticeably scanned the news feed without  even consumed any of the information displayed. But why? Does this mean we don't care about anyone else on there but apart from the way we look and stand in this cyber society?

Lets Face(book) it we are all doomed.

Why is Benedict Cumberbatch so amazing?

 Benedict Timonthy Carlton Cumberbatch has the power to impregnate women with just a whisper.

 In 2013 he blew up big in the "A-list world" making it to Hollywood in the top 50 coolest people on screen. 

His main Hollywood blockbuster was 'Star Trek - Into Darkness ( and rather a hit with the American ladies too). 

 Just recently he has starred in the Biggest film of the year '12 Years A Slave' directed by Steve Mcqueen. Benedict plays a middle-class plantation owner who goes by the name of Ford.

 WARNING: make sure you attend the cinema with a big box of tissues. 

Cumberbatch took up the role as Sherlock Holmes in the big hit series 'Sherlock' in 2010 , he said " It's a rare challenge , both for the audience and an actor , to take part in something with this level of intelligence and wit. You have to really enjoy it . It's form of mental and physical gymnastics".I personally would say that Cumberbatch has been the far most talented actor to play Sherlock yet .

His female fans ( including myself) were originally known as "CumberBitches", but are now known as the "CumberCollective" because he objected to the original name...Isn't he a sweetie.

 Apart from his good looks (I mean with those razor sharp cheek bones , need I say no more) and undeniable talent accompanied with a rich baritone voice; Benedict Cumberbatch is one hell of a man!   

  Check it out: Benedict Cumberbatch reading Coleridge's Kubla Khan

                                           spotify:track:4KDOH3EXqbnSCXG0SHIdb8

7News - Shocking video shows woman cheat death

Connoisseurs of Nandos & Adnan Januzaj

Peri Peri, the wonder and solution to life's problems. On Friday I went to Nandos with a friend , the usual greeting was commended with the words "have you been to Nandos before?" to which I replied " I practically live here" , from then on the hunt for the chicken was in orgasmic pursuit .

Once seated and recited the menu off by heart... it was now time for the  moment when you gaze upon the tired-eyed spotty teenager at the till as they monotonously mention  "how spicy?".  Now,  to all those guys out there who think they can win the heart of any girl with tears streaming down their face and a wet nose; due to the idea that his manhood will demolish in an instant if he chooses lower than  'Hot'  on the temperature scale... can think again.

The arrival of the food was exciting as always to the extent of clapping like a child and admiring the witty comments on the napkins . Personally,  I would suggest not taking a girl on a date to Nandos, just because she is only there to admire the cock sitting on her plate and not the one sitting opposite her.

Which brings me onto my next story, Manchester United's star young player Adnan Januzaj from Albania has recently been spotted in Nandos on a date wearing a track suit .
 The £30,000 a week player knows how to treat the ladies... Melissa McKenzie (25) told The Sun "I was excited for our first date" and he supposedly spent £18 on the meal. Sometimes you just can't buy class.

Car Crash Nib- 90 words

Bucks free press 

A local 20 year old man was killed instantly in a car crash. John Frazier (20) from Hartwell at 21 Moore Court lost control of his car yesterday at Aylesbury High Street Junction around 5pm.                                                                

 The young man drove 20 mph over the speed limit on a  slippery wet road and crashed into a lamp post on Broad street. The impact crushed the entire front of the car.

John was the only person in the car and  he wasn't wearing his seatbelt and was thrown 20ft away through the windscreen of his Lotus Elise.

- Leila Aissa-Dean